i keep losing because im in the que to win

because its my girlfriends birthday and 1st day in her new job i have run her a steaming hot bubble bath for when she gets in, and cos its her birthday, i didnt even piss in the shower while i was in it , AND im gonna wait till she gets out before i have a crap! who says romance is dead

Vanity

My girlfriend is vain, I smeared her perfectly drawn on eyebrows into a perfect Uni-brow that would shame the gallaghers, and then she wouldn’t let me take a picture of her to put online , don’t know what her problem is tbh

you know your a real man(………….or lazy) when your in the bath having a beer, and rather than get out the bath and walk 5 foot to the toilet, instead just stand up and piss in a empty beer can :P 

My “type”

I’ve never really had a “I only go for blondes,” or “that have to have big tits” kinda attitude, but I stick to these rules, they have to be shorter than me, smaller built than me, slimmer than me, longer hair than me, smaller feet than me, and need to look more feminine than me, but considering I’m a 6’2, 15 and a half stone builder/musician thats not really difficult to find haha